Bikky Tour entry #1 Well, this is the first entry and not much to
comment on yet. I just thought I’d get the ball rolling.
I’ll set the scene, 1) Seven people It’s gonna be a long, but fun 5 days Back later Entry #2 The ever important battery cover off the ever
trusting beat box about 60kms south of Wadonga. At this rate we
won’t have any equipment for Sydney tomorrow! Shane
P.S. SNAKE THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW!! Don't ask!!! Entry #3! We just got here (Wagga Wagga) and the place
we are stayin at kicks much ass! Prolly the best place BISCUIT
has stayed at yet. So I’m off to chill in the pool! With
snake. Later Entry #4 Wobbly writing very hard in a moving vehicle.
Wagga Wagga hotel very pleasant. Arrived at 2:30 in pool by 2:35.
Hotel directly across the road from the venue. The gig went
really well. It was exciting to play to a totally different crowd
that had never heard us. Anyway up and off to Sydney at about
9:30 .I’ve just been told we will be driving through the
blue mountains and I’m looking forward to that. BYE Entry #5 Matt from the Testeagles stayed in our room
and put me and little D’arcy to shame. He went out with this
group of guys and girls after the gig and left before us in the
morning! We’ve definitely got to work on the tour stamina!!
(is that how ya spell it?) Chris! X Entry #6 Driving 150kms/hr (sorry 157kms), 22kms to
Golbourn or however the fuck you spell it, and we’ve been on
the E- red light on juice for 10mins. Gee are we runnnnnning
outtt offf petrol!!! Welll, we will soon see. Hang-on I’ll
talk in a sec... 11km’s to go, 10 (I hear a lowfront call,
we’ll make it so easy), 6, 4, 2km, 1km, oh shit another
fuckin McDonalds. YEAH BABY. JUICE!!! Wesz Entry #7 I’m bored in the van so it’s POETRY
TIME!! There once was these guys from a band The moral of this poem is don’t blow up
Avis vans until you get to your destination and work out your
last line of your poem before you realise that nothing good
rhymes with it!! CHRIS! Entry #8 Hey girls (Jules and Sair), Well we played our first show outta Vic! And
it was fuckin really cool. It was wicked to play to new people
that had never seen us before and they really seemed to like it. So we have 102km to go till we get to Sydney
and this gig should be really cool because we have be told that
there will be a heap of industries people there, so we must ROCK
hey! Ok, so how are you two goin back in sunny Melbourne hey.
Anyways Wesz is bitchin because he wants his fuckin pen back, so
I’m outta here. Later Entry #9 Another one down! Last nite we played the
Annandale in Sydney and it went pretty cool!! We were on early but it was fun anyway. This
writing in the van thing isn’t getting any easier!! The place we stayed at was smick. It was a
hostel so there were heaps of foreign people (nice ladies!)
We’re on our way to Canberra - the firecracker and porn
central of the universe! Firecrackers for me, PORN FOR JAKE! CHRIS! Entry #11 Snake just did a radio interview on some
Sydney station (FBI FM) while we waited in the van. We just
pulled up on highway between Syd and Canberra and Snake rung on
his mobile. Very cool to hear your own songs on some station
you’ve never heard of - in some place you’ve never
been!! Man, we pulled into this servo and I had to go
pooh-poohs! In front of me on the door was a sign "WANT SEX?
LEAVE MESSAGE!" And next to me there was a peephole so all
these big buff truckies can go hammer and tong on eachother while
some perve watches. GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! (I’m
scared!!) CHRIS. Entry #12 MY POEM I love a sunburnt country It’s slightly overcast now. It rained for
a little before and there’s fog hanging on the mountains out
the window. We’re 77kms from Canberra and today should be a
bit more relaxed. We have a bit more time before the gig tonight. Jake Entry #13 Well we are almost within throwing distance of
our nations very warped and hypocritical capitol. Anyway I might run down how things so far have
gone. Wagga we had awesome convenience with accom.
Directly across the road from the venue. The P.A turned up late
and we got no decent sound check. The foldback didn’t work
well but the FOH was ok once I figured out where my phase problem
was. It turned out ok. Annandale was mediocre. The desk is old and
fucked. I don’t know how many drinks have been spilt down
that thing but it really has problems. Once again there was phase
problems . What is it with NSW? Does no-one stack the FOH
speakers straight in line with each other? Hopefully the get
their shit together tonite. Shane Entry #14 We just stayed at Matt from Henry’s
Anger’s house. He is a much cool guy. Thanks Matt. Jake Entry #15 Matt from Henry’s Anger told us that TOOL
were rude arrogant fucks. Part of me has died. WORD TO THE ANGER!! Entry #16 My next entry will be after a hot shower. Man
I can’t wait! Entry #17 9:30am and Carty’s already drinkin beer
again! Canberra last night, gig went fairly well. We
had to cut the set short because everything was running overtime.
Then we did our usual thing and the middle of the stage collapsed
under Wesz. Rock on! We let off a shitload of firecrackers out
the front of the uni bar on the campus. Is that legal? On our way
to play Bayfest. I’m really looking forward to this gig. JAKE Entry #18 Because of these ludicrous allegations at the
top of this page I’ve been forced to draw from my
outstanding wit in the form of another poem!! OK kiddies it’s POETRY TIME! There once was a guy named Jake Thank you for your time. POETRY TIME will
resume later on CHRIS Entry #19 Well, Man I have no idea what happened last nite! I
was in Frenzal’s hotel room then all I can remember is
running my gob down a line of every bottle of grog you could care
to name in this guys dads restaurant after hours! I woke up in a hotel room with about 15 people
that I didn’t know - with my whole hair in plaits????? (what
the fuck?) What the fuck happened?? I don’t know but
Batemans Bay rocked and I had a ball! I’m still pissed!
WHOOAAA! SEE YA - CHRIS!! Entry #20 We are on the way home from the ‘Love
Bus’ tour. The whole thing is over and we fuckin rocked
every where we’ve been. Yesterday was "AWESOME"
if I do say so myself. We all proceeded to get totally fucked up
as soon as our gig was over. Lots of alcohol and other things
later and we all partied all night. I was as fucked up as it
gets. I’ve lost a couple of hours. I got undressed in the
van on the way to the hotel and walked around there half naked
till bedtime. Now Carty smells like a brothel and has probably
got more stories than me. Maybe I should have gone out with him
afterwards. Piss-on in Batemans. It rocks. Shane Entry #21 Driving home from Batemans down the coast road
to Pambula first for some chow and then some morning medicine
(mmmmmm.) ( IT’S POETRY TIME!! ) The tour’s been a blast, The town of Wagga Chow, chow, chow, Entry #22 I know ya probably sick of me but I’m
back!!! My mate made me a trincate that was going to
give us safety and prosperity. We hung it off the rear view
mirror of the van and it kept us safe and prosperous!! CHRIS Entry #23 It’s over and we are now back in
Victoria. And what the fuck is up with this page. Who did that? So now Carty is saying that he is never going
to drink or consume substances again. We will just see about
that. I don’t have anything interesting to write, I was just
bored so I thought I would fill up some more of this book. Bye Entry #24 Well we just went through Sale. So we’re
kinda getting close to home. The last show of the tour was yesterday in
Batemans Bay. BAYFEST "98" which by far was the best show of the tour. It
was wicked to get back on a festival size stage and just fuckin
go off hey. And it was so cool to be able to just kick back after
we played and watch a heap of other sicko bands. But the best
thing about last night was all the free Ruskis we had and all the
wicked free food! Well it’s going to be cool to get home
and just chill out! It’s been so much fun playin every night
with two of the coolest bands around, TESTEAGLES and HENRY’S
ANGER. Every night after we played we just got to watch both
these sick bands fuckin go stupid on stage, which has been real
cool. We just passed Rosedale wow! So Sair and Jules thanks for getting us our
tour book and we hope you have fun readin about what Biscuit did
on our first real tour. Anyways this is Matt. D. signin off for
now! Later Entry #25 Nearly home, had an absolute ball and
can’t wait to get away again! Thanx for this book guys. I
know the writing’s shockin but as we’ve said, it’s
hard in the van. TESTEAGLES & HENRY’S ANGER rock hard.
I’ve got a lot of time for all members of each band.
We’ll be doing heaps more with both bands. Anyway I’m off so bye and we’ll
speak next tour! See ya
Wed 4th Nov, 11am
2) Ludicrous amounts of shit!
And one fuckin bus!
CHRIS!
We haven’t even make it to Albury and we’ve had our
first casualty.
Matt D.
Thurs 5th, Day 2
Jake
Thurs 5th Oct, 12:21pm
They hired an Avis van
They said "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!
LET'S BLOW THIS BITCH UP"
And they did and it was really fucked coz they had to walk back
to Melbourne
Matt D
Friday - 11:00am-ish!
I’m in HEAVEN!
Friday, Day 3
We leave at the crack of dawn
To Canberra home of firecrackers and supermarket porn
I look forward to our breakfast stops at roadhouses on the way
There’s nothing quite like trukstop food,
As a good start to the day
But there’s one question I keep getting asked that’s
starting to take its toll.
Why the fuck would I want tomato sauce on an egg & bacon
roll?
Friday 6th, Day 3
I can’t wait to find the shop we all keep talking about,
where anything in Melb that’s illegal will be on the shelf
for sale in Canberra.
Day 4, Sat
CHRIS
Day 4
Matt
Day 4, Sat
The fuckwit stepped on a rake
The rake was real sharp
And got stuck in his arse
And he thought "FUCK IT,
THERE'S A RAKE IN MY DATE !"
Sun 11:00am
We’ve done it! The tour is over! We’re on our way back
to Melbourne!
Sunday, Day 5
11:30am, Sun 8th Oct
It’s gone very fast
At times like a clock set on speed
So let me take the time
To word you this rhyme
And tell you what you can’t see
Was a gig with a pool
And the billabong gardens
Was also "toooo" cool,
Now you may be wondering
Why I’m talking about pools,
So ask Matt or Jake
And they’ll tell you the rules,
Of touring with Biscuit
And making your mark,
In an animated way,
In the light or the dark.
Now our playing on the road
Has been quite an adventure
From Wagga, to Sydney
And a Canberra/Bateman’s venture,
But before I continue
Writing this bit
I must inform you
That this handwriting is shit
But if you were sitting where I am
On an esky and bus
Then you’d probably understand,
You wouldn’t make a fuss
But hey, let me get back
To my story to be told,
Before I get wrecked,
And before I get old,
The "ANU" was a stage with no support
So hey, I’ll fuck it
I’m that kinda sort,
And Bateman’s Bay was a gig that went off,
With the crowd so responsive
And a shitload of hospitality,
(I don’t have to rhyme every fuckin line)
But I’ll finish it off
I’ll do the time,
We’ve had way too much fun,
It must be illegal,
Hope to do it again
We rocked hard with the Testeagles,
Seen too many cows,
It’s time to go now.
"Yeah
baby, you've got every reason to be suspicious.
I shagged her rotton baby!!!"
WORD TO THE TRINCATE!!
Sun 8th
Shane
WESZ
GREEN OUT PERIOD
8/11/98
4 : 07
- JAKE
PS. Fuck it’s hard writing in the van!
Christopher James Carty
XO